iPhone Obituary

Nate’s writing has improved dramatically. He’s moving away from “Nate-speak,” a language that is about 90% comprehensible English and 10% known only to have meaning for Nate himself. I see scattered fake press releases around the house, trumpeting the new, non-existent Johnny Test movies, or little faux newspaper items on renovated bathrooms. Here’s his latest:

My iPhone (8/13/2009-6/1/2011): 

It all started on August 13th, 2009, when I finally got my iPhone, it was amazing to me!  I became addicted to it until the next year (2010), I finally added more apps from the Apple Store, starting with a DoodleBuddy, followed by a cake-making one, and many of the Maverick apps starting with a cupcake one.  

On June 1st, 2011, something was wrong with my iPhone.  While I was cleaning the screen of my phone, I washed it carefully, but instead, I actually dropped it on the drain. After it stopped working and died inadvertently, I became upset about what happened to it.  The next day, I went to Amazon.com to pick out a new iPhone.  I ordered it and the new iPhone finally arrived five days later on June 6th after following the mail truck.  It’s a replacement for my old and dead one, and I’d like to copy all the stuff from my old one.

A few comments.

1 – Nate always refers to the death of inanimate objects. When Circuit City went out of business, it “died.” I think he really does see it that way, all ends are a loss of life. He may be right about that.

2 – I love his use of “addicted.” Very mature word.

3 – Nate washed his iPod soon after his recent fever. He may have done that even in his healthiest moments, but I’m not positive about that. “Carefully” is a funny term, as if any combination of water and electronics is permissible. Nate has learned that water and gadgets don’t mix.

4 – “It died inadvertently.” That’s “Nate-speak.” I’m certain he means “accidentally.”

5 – Though Nate has a GoPhone, and he’s never attempted to make a call on his iPod, he always refers to his iPod as an iPhone. Odd.

6 – “Following the mail truck.” Another Nate-ism that means he tracked delivery online.

7 – Nate had, literally, thousands of documents on his now deceased iPod, notes he made of his funny phrases or lists important only to him. He also had thousands of pictures he created on his apps, various food dishes, cupcakes and doodles. Knowing Nate, he may be able, over time, to recreate them all by memory. He’s amazing to me! (And I’m addicted to him).

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About Jeff Katz

Jeff Katz is Mayor of Cooperstown, the “Birthplace of Baseball” and home to the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum. His latest book, Split Season:1981 - Fernandomania, the Bronx Zoo, and the Strike that Saved Baseball, (Thomas Dunne Books, 2015), received national attention, with coverage appearing in The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Sporting News and NPR’s Only a Game, among others. Katz appeared on ESPN’s Olbermann and The Sporting Life with Jeremy Schaap and MLB Network’s MLB Now, with Brian Kenny. Split Season: 1981 was a finalist for the 2016 Casey Award for Best Baseball Book of the Year.
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